Archive for the ‘The Onion’ Category

Scientists Hate Mice!

According to this article, scientists don’t much care about curing disease or advancing science.  The reason for experimenting on mice is that they hate them.

“For years, I’ve used lab mice to research cell breakdown in living tissue—and I’ve been lucky enough to make some pretty important medical advancements along the way,” said researcher Ellen Gresham of the Harvard Institute for Advanced Studies. “But even if there were no scientific benefit to the work I do, I’d still experiment on mice, just to watch them suffer.”

“The truth is, mice are particularly ill-suited for our tissue study,” Gresham added. “We could construct a computer model that would yield more accurate results, but we don’t care.”

That should help the creepy PETA people feel better about themselves and the terror they inflict on the world.

(via: Saskboy’s Abandoned Stuff)